My name is Kayla and I am a frustrated recent graduate. I feel lied to. That magic formula that I was given to be “successful” and get a job that would help save the world is not working. So here I sit, on my couch scrolling through endless job sites that lead to nowhere. I have written more cover letters than I can count and have been patiently (ahem) waiting for your reply. And I’m not talking a “the position has been filled” reply. I’m talking a reply that goes something like this:
Dear Ms. Jones,
After reviewing your resume, speaking with your references, and reading your kick-bumper cover letter we have decided that you are AWESOME and it would be shameful of us not to hire you! We would like to offer you a ridiculously high paying position that is worthy of your wit and charm. Also we would love to pay off all of your student debt, including your husbands. We look forward to you saving the world. You start on Monday. Thank you.
Your new employer
IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!? Ok maybe it’s a little over the top. But I would LOVE it if you would give me a job that would allow me to pay my bills, and maybe not have to eat Ramen 3 nights a week. Thank you for taking the time to consider me. I look forward to hearing from you.
So who thinks I should send this for real as my cover letter for the next job I apply for??? Hahaha.