Grad school is the new buzz word for all recent B.A. and B.S. graduates. The economy has made it near impossible to find a job after graduation that is able to pay those student loan bills.
“What do you do?”, “I work at a coffee shop, but I plan on starting Grad school soon.
” “What do you do?”, “I work in retail, but I plan on going back to Grad school.
” “What do you do?”, “I’m a nanny, but I plan on going back to school to get my masters.”
It looks like the only option that’s out there. And sadly I know many students who went directly into a masters program after graduation and still can’t find jobs because they lack working experience. I found myself telling people over and over that I was going to pursue a masters, even though I was terribly confused about what direction I would be taking. I bounced back and forth, wrestled over the question of “what in the world do I want to do with my life?” When I pictured myself back in the classroom, with due dates, and papers I would get sick to my stomach. I was already imagining myself procrastinating on a Saturday afternoon. There was no excitement and purpose, it was just the only foreseeable option I had.
It also made me sound like I had a plan. “My life may look like this now, but it wont for long, and I’m going places dammit! “It was just another way to stroke my ego. To prove that I was still smart. Over this past year God has really been changing my heart and showing me just how wrong this all is for me. I don’t have to prove myself to anyone, and especially not Him. If I don’t know what direction I’m going, it’s OK. And I do not have to pick a degree for the sake of doing something. So I am giving up a masters. At least for now. I am trying to be content exactly where I am, and trust that God knows what he’s doing.
I am pursuing something though. It’s something I have been seriously thinking about for the past year, but kept abandoning the idea because I thought it was silly and childish. A few close friends and my church family know what this is. If you’d like to know you can ask, but I’m not ready to put it out into the blogging world just yet. It’s something I’ve wanted to do my entire life, and it’s not going to be about me or success. I’m leaving it entirely in God’s hands.
So cheers to being OK with a B.A.!