Hey remember that time I said I was going to start writing again? FAIL. Oh well, here I go.
If you’re wondering, yes, I am still homesick. Horribly so. I realized that I have not left the state in almost a year. To a New England girl this idea is just ridiculous. I grew up going grocery shopping in the next state over. OK maybe not grocery shopping, but I could have if I wanted to. But seriously, I probably left the state once a week, if not more. I feel a bit land locked and restless stuck under these wide open skies of Texas. Maybe I’ll just pop over to Louisiana (5 hours), or Arkansas (6 hours), or Oklahoma (5 hours), or New Mexico (8+hours). Hmmm not exactly a day trip. I don’t think the summer heat is helping much either.
I guess all this is to say that the honeymoon may be over. That initial infatuation of Texas is dying down, as our real life begins here. Please don’t misunderstand this. We are very happy here. Our friends are ever better. I still love tacos and BBQ. Austin rocks. But those little oddities or opinions that I once smiled at and reveled in the Texasness of them all as I shoved New England me back in the closet, are now a bit tiring. Those things that were once shiny and new, reflecting a whole new culture I was excited to embrace, are now reminders of how I will always be fundamentally different from Texas and never quite fit in. Texas pride is more annoying than appealing to me now. Because I can’t have true Texas pride while I dream of the Atlantic, or people who use “wicked” as an adverb. I love my New England roots and I will not leave them at the Texas border. I love Texas, I really do, but it is not the only state in America. I appreciate Texas pride. I think it’s important and unifying but there are other states out there that are just as good (Iowa anyone??…Anyone???).
Maybe I should start a business making tablecloths, napkins, t-shirts, wall hangings, stickers, cakes, pencils, you name it we shape it/cover it with the state of New Hampshire or our flag . Could any of my New England friends imagine using this stuff for your birthday party? It seriously happens down here. Only in Texas. Love it. Hate it. Can’t live with it. Can’t live without it.